Dr. Mark Rutland in his message on Sunday, spoke about being better together in life and marriage. He emphasized that the real issue is outgiving your spouse. He posed questions for singles, such as whether the person they are with is a good tipper and generous with compliments. He directed these questions to both men and women. He also asked if the one you are with is willing to stay by your side when you are no longer able to take care of yourself.

True agape love is the kind of love that continues to give, even when it hurts. This means making a choice to give sacrificially of yourself. Dr. Rutland illustrated this by saying that a husband should tell his wife she looks like a million bucks when she models a dress for him. Likewise, a wife should love and affirm her husband when he comes home from a hard day at work. It requires setting aside hurt feelings and choosing to put the other person first. Love is not just about words but about actions, showing love even when it’s difficult. Even if a husband comes home dirty and exhausted, love remains steadfast.

There is much more to marriage than just physical intimacy. Marriage is about generously sharing yourself with your spouse, learning to admit when you are wrong, and building trust. It means choosing to stay with your spouse even when they receive a devastating diagnosis that could change the course of your lives forever. Whether or not they remain as attractive as when you first met is not the point—because as you both grow older, things will inevitably change.

When you stood before family and friends to exchange vows, you made a lifelong commitment till death do you part. Choose to respect and love each other as Christ loves you. The commitment you make to your spouse is not something to be taken lightly.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess I have often been less than loving, respectful, and respectable in my family relationships, especially with those closest to me. I thank You for the blood that Jesus bled from his side to heal our relationships. Forgive me for my sins in these areas, and by the blood of Jesus, help us to forgive each other. I thank You that when we confess these sins, You are faithful and just, not only to forgive us our sins, but also to purify us from all unrighteousness. Grant me the gift of repentance and obedience to these family instructions as I go forward. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen. 

Consider that Satan works as hard against intimacy within marriage as he works to deceive unmarried people into sexual sin. When you feel frustrated, needy, or unheard within your marriage, bring it to Jesus in prayer and look for ways to say, give, and show love to your spouse. In turn, receive your spouse’s efforts to show you love, and notice the good things out loud.